I just had a fantastic weekend, all thanks to the Beyond Trauma And Attachment (BeTA) non-profit network. If you are a mother (or female caretaker) who cares for a child with trauma issues, I insist highly recommend looking into attending their annual retreat in Orlando.

Over the next week or two, I will post my thoughts on the lessons I learned about trauma, about friendship, about parenting, and about myself throughout the week. For now, though, I want you to read this:

20 Things I Did Not Hear At the BeTA Retreat. Not Once.

1) "Oh, he's just talkative. He's fine."

2) "Have you tried a sticker chart?"

3) "Maybe if you paid more attention to her she wouldn't do that."

4) "Don't worry... All kids do that!"

5) "I'm sure he wasn't really trying to kill you!"

6) "I think you're too strict."

7) "I think you're too permissive."

8) "If that was my kid, he wouldn't sit down for a week."

9) "I can't believe you put a lock on his door."

10) "I can't believe you said that to your kid."

11) "You should leave. Or send them somewhere else to live."

12) "But how will they learn if you don't make them do homework?!"

13) "Things will go so much better for you and your kids if you just accept Jesus into your life" (Note: I am agnostic and people in my "real life" say this to me often. I get it and don't mind the suggestion... I actually think it's WONDERFUL to have a strong sense of faith. But, for now, it's not for me. But it was so nice to be somewhere where I could talk about things and not have this offered as the only suggestion!)

14) "Kids are resilient. They'll be fine."

15) "Your kids sound like they might be a lost cause."

16) "You're wrong to feel that way."

17) "It's noon... Why are you still in bed?"

18) "What's Reactive Attachment Disorder?"

19) "Don't you think you've had enough wine?"

No. The answer would have been no if anyone had asked me that silly question!

20) "I can't believe you're drinking straight from the bottle."

Okay, maybe I should have put the bottle down...

I didn't have to explain anything about my kids for four whole days. I didn't have to make any excuses for anyone or anything for four whole days.

Because I was with people who "got it."

And it was absolutely amazing.


This post is also available at my new website Trauma Mama Drama.  If you enjoy reading my blog, remember to update your feeds, emails and bookmarks with the new link, because eventually I will only post updates on the new site's blog.